So I haven’t written or posted in so long. Or to correct that, I haven’t posted in so long (apparently writing down posts in a note book but not writing them up or posting them is now my new thing…completely counterproductive). Anyway, we are in the midst of summer- the few months of the year that I pine after; sitting in beer gardens, picnics with pimms, sitting on exotic beaches sipping a holiday cocktail (all day drinking, you get the idea). I don’t know if it is the increased alcohol consumption or four days of sunshine that make summer feel a bit more joyful than the rest of the year. This summer in particular has been one that could not come quick enough. I will be celebrating my graduation in July, I don’t care that Sheffield only gets seven days of guaranteed sunshine, my graduation day will be one of them! I will also be going on two holidays; the first to Greece with my family and the second to LA with a best friend. Obviously, I am counting down the days- these two trips made the tearful late nights in the library so worth it. However, I am all too aware that I haven’t bought a bikini in sooooo long (and for good reason).
That is how I have found myself here, in Debenhams changing rooms six weeks before my trips with the entire shop floor of bikinis in my ever shrinking changing room. Why six weeks in advance you ask? I am all too aware of the magnitude of the task at hand. Gone are the days where I could pop into town of an afternoon and come away with three properly fitting, cute swim suits (not that that is something that I have ever experienced anyway). No, when you have a bra size that measures up a little bigger than average everything gets more difficult! I could describe the process of bikini shopping quite similar to the x factor: ten weeks of misery and drama for a couple of months in the spot light.
So here I am, stood in a crowded changing room wondering if it is humanly possible to move some of the fat from my ‘less than desirably toned’ stomach and hips to my tiny bum. I’m not looking for surgical intervention, just maybe a bit of magic or a modern day miracle. This is so conflicting for me! I feel like body positivity and self-love are so important and essentially key to being a happy person. Beauty definitely goes beyond size but I feel like everyone has hang ups and that is a problem of our society. Anyway…
The first few bikinis I try on simply do not make the cut. Firstly I try on a bikini with high wasted bottoms thinking it might show off my waist like Instagram would suggest. Let’s just say it was a bit more Bridget Jones pants than agent provocateur. While I love Bridget in all other respects it wasn’t really what I was going for. The second bikini was just a massive misjudgement of which I only have myself to blame. The itsy bitsy triangular piece of cloth brought to mind Freddie Mercury belting “I want to break free”. The less said about it the better. One of the latter bikinis that was adorned was actually okay, cute even. But that was its problem. It was like a giant version of all of the bikinis in the little girls section. Frills, bows and cartoon animals. Now if that is your thing, all the power to you but I didn’t envisage myself strolling down Venice beach in a bikini that somewhat resembled a child’s party dress.
My shopping trip had failed, as anticipated and as I wandered home, sipping an ice latte working out whether it would be acceptable to just wear underwear around the pool, I placed an order too large that I would like to admit on ASOS as a last ditch attempt. As someone who does not usually look to the realm of the internet to buy underwear, swimwear, the like I foresaw dodgy sizing and a four boob situation (if you know, you know). But upon their arrival the following morning (thank the lord for next day delivery) I was spoilt for choice. Not being able to warrant spending £300 on bikinis most had to go back but three bikinis more than made the cut. Now, I know I am probably very late to the party and this may just be a revelation that I am having but ASOS swimwear section (particularly their DD+ items) is definitely the way forward! I shall now resume my four months of alcoholism and waiting for the sun.